Monday, April 30, 2018

Every Day Hero – Episode 2

Look around and you will see a hero in each one and in you, the entire life doesn’t have be heroic, there are many instances in which you will catch a glimpse of a hero or be one. It does need courage and guts to overcome a challenge, kick the glass bubble of comfort, break out of a limiting belief, step out of the ordinary, show compassion and touch lives simply by getting connected to the luminosity within.

Today I salute the hero in my grandmother, my dadi. A beautiful woman she served many years of her life as a nurse with my grandfather who was a Doctor. I always knew her as a loving granny bent over her sewing machine and magically creating frilly frocks for me that I would wear proudly and prance around.

I was born the year after my dadu passed on. For a very long time I just knew that he was hit by a taxi while crossing the road and did not survive. What I did not know was the incomparable courage my dadi had displayed in the hospital. She must have been in her early 60s when this accident occurred in Delhi.

While crossing the road, dada ji was hit by a taxi and the taxi guy took them to the hospital. It was a mayhem around with the doctors rushing in cause dada ji was hit seriously. Amma ji (as I called my dadi) realized that her husband is not going to survive this and told the taxi driver to escape cause if her sons reach the hospital they will thrash the driver and if the police does his life will be a mess. He had told amma ji about his little kids and was pleading her to forgive him. She literally told him, “yahan main dekh rahi hun, tu bhaag ja.”

Looking back I realize the large heartedness and compassion that the lady displayed in the time of her extreme distress. It is so difficult to even forgive your own self, yes we are our harshest critics, leave alone any other. For me she is a hero in this incident. Yes she is.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

As if Today is the Only Day

This year I was seeing my brother after a gap of 2 years. We fight, we scream, hell we even break each others’ hearts and that’s beside the point na. love for a sibling is so much more larger than all the petty stuff. It just IS.
However he was here in delhi only for 2 nights and all I got with him was 2 days and 1 night. And to say that we lived it up is an understatement. We maxed out each moment, laughing, sharing banter, him playing cricket with my son, enduring my uncontrolled beer giggles, we shopped, we ate and thankfully we gave fighting a miss. What stayed with me is the way we made the most of it in just about 2 days, we were truly present to each other and made it large. When I go visit Canada, I usually go for a month and we do all these fun things and everything in between, all the while thinking there is a lot of time and that time flies off and sometimes leaves me wondering how it did? And sometimes even unfulfilled with feelings like wish we had more time, wish we had done this and that. You know a bit incomplete kind of.
And I am thinking how amazing would it be if we approach all our days like this? Not like we have loads of time but as if we were in “no time” (not less time). How amazing would that experience be? How much power will the Now have? How much life would be infuse in our days? What all will be possible at all levels of our days and relationships?

As the Sun Sets

I am an eternal lover of sunsets, and my love for them grows each time I am immersed in watching them. And if the setting is a beach or mountain, I am overjoyed. On my vacation to the hills this year, every evening I religiously grabbed my balcony seat to watch the amazing show put up by the Sun. The setting is always gorgeous (for lack of a deeper word) and its various hues, wash the sky with myriad colours from the palette, that if a painting was replicated on the canvas, it will seem unreal. The molten orange against various shades of blue, mixing with white fluffy frothy white clouds deepening them with an aura of orange and then slowly disappearing right in front of your eyes is a showstopper. Add a couple of tall standing deodars as a background and majestic hills as mute witnesses giving me company and you have a unbeatable show.

No camera can do justice to its unmatched beauty, though I am trigger happy and clicked various pictures. However, the last evening there filled me with some sadness. And while in a convo with my husband I told him, “Oh! there will be no show tomorrow” and immediately it hit me that of course there will be a show, only I won’t be present at that spot to watch it. Ah! the reminder of mortality and the “show must go on”, is achingly beautiful.
The song playing in my head is yeh zindagi ke mele…duniya mai kam na hoge…afsos hum na honge ….

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Every Day Hero

Having seen some bit of the world in my 44 years of existence, I do believe that there is a hero within all of us. We just don’t give it much recognition. We only think that heroes have a consistent heroic life and are out to save the world. We have grown up fed on the stories of superman, he-man and more recently shakitmaan. Those are amazing I don’t mean to take their brand of heroism away. And look around or better still look to yourself, there have been so many times when you have faced your fears, leapt with faith, taken over the unknown, jumped into a challenge and risen above the banal.

Today, i want to share a story that for me is a huge story of extraordinary heroism, something that has always tugged at my heart strings and sometimes warmed me and sometimes melted me. This is the story that is an ode to my mother in laws courage.

In December of 1998, we as a family went through the darkest time of our lives, we lost my best friend, my baby bro-in-law Sumi to an unfortunate accident in Pune. He was the darling of the family, absolutely pampered, most loved and cherished, and since he was the youngest; he was indulged in for every whim. And trust me he had multiple whims J and loved to live life fully.

The night of 3rd dec, my husband was travelling and at 3 am our door bell rang incessantly. Not realizing the foreboding of that bell, I opened the door and in walked Sumi’s roomies parents. A couple of minutes into the conversation, when they told us about the accident, they broke the news that shattered the world around us. We were in a state of shock and disbelief.
I can only now imagine the pain a mother would have gone through losing her young one at the age of 22. I can only now fathom how life must have moved on for her. In a daze we did all that was to be done.
And as luck would have it, a couple days down, end of December a wedding in the family of a dear cousin had already been scheduled. They were willing to postpone it and spoke at length with my mother in law. However, mummy said the wedding must be solemnized and finally the aunt relented saying it will happen only if she would attend it too.
I as a young girl all of 24 myself, was shattered and did not know how to process my feelings. Mum paved the way and all credit to her she went on to attend all the functions, I just the wedding.
For me, it was a huge step that a mother took. Today I look back and think of all the courage it would have taken her. For me this act was heroic. For me she is the hero in this story. For me she rose above herself. It also taught me that no matter what, the show must go on!!

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

3 Ways to Remain Connected to YourSelf

We as a generation seem to be plagued by the busyness syndrome. Isn’t it paradoxical that while we are “doing” so many things, we keep losing focus, are not really able to concentrate well and get distracted at the rate of a mobile notification sound.
One day while walking on a busy road I was so immersed in staring and reading into the phone that I simple lost track of where I was walking and who I was walking into. And in that sudden moment when a car whizzed close by, I came to the realization that I was so not connected with either myself or my physical environment. It really is very easy to get distracted and get lost either in the external chaos around us or the internal chatter.

Here are three very simple yet amazing practices that will ground you and connect you to your body and up level your awareness quotient. These exercises are very effective for everybody from a busy professional to a student, and the best part it is that it is all free.
Yes the good old focus on breath and a couple of deep breathings will bring you back to your bodily awareness. Take a deep breath with the intention of breathing in love and joy and with the exhalation release all that is stagnant and not serving you. A couple of deep breathings with this intention before an important meeting, an interview or an exam will center you and connect you to the moment. I call it my personal quick fix.
I AM Aware:
An exercise that I find very effective is saying this to myself while doing any task. For example when I am writing and tend to get lost in my thoughts, I bring back my focus and concentration by simply saying “I am aware I am writing.” This can be extended to any activity that you are doing or not doing. I am aware I am sipping my tea. I am aware I am walking in my lawn, I am aware I am lazying and sinking into my couch. Anything and everything, this really simple yet very effective exercise will allow you to live and enjoy your day with enhanced mindfulness.
Thought Less:
We are all inhabiting our bodies yet mostly living in our thoughts. Notice and be aware of how you go about the day and you will quickly recognize this. Infact, energy healers say that because of this we tend to fall sick and get unwell. If only we start living more in our body than in our mind we will heal better, live better and feel better. As soon as you start to get lost in the mental narratives and stories, bring yourself to an awareness of your five senses. What are you seeing? Hearing? Touching? Feeling? And tasting? Yes just the aliveness of this will bring your awareness to your body and raise your vibe, conscious and consciousness. This is a most effective manner that allows you to fully feel into your emotions and expose the feeling into awareness. For example if you are feeling angry and you expose your anger to yourself by feeling from where it is arising in your body and how it is rising and enveloping your energy field, how it is showing up for you, how are you looking, what are you hearing or saying; you will loosen its grip on you and will be able to unhook yourself. I do it all the time, feel my emotion, its origin, its trajectory and then allow it to gently let go.

While there are various ways to connect to yourself, these are some of the simple ones that you can do at any time of the day and for anything that is showing up for you. If you start developing this muscle of mindfulness through practice you will soon become a pro.

One level Up

wake up before the wake up call !
sometimes life throws a googly and depending on our ability to respond we respond to it. my wake up call came early in life when i lost my brother in law- my best friend and at the same time my husband went through challenging professional times. Personally and Professionally we started from ground zero and built up whatever we have today. we are ofcourse very grateful for all the support we got at that time. however our issues were our own to deal with. even in that our coping styles were very different.
over times i went in and out of phases of self empowerment then self doubts, depression and then more facing of fears, struggles winning some and losing some.
this year has been very gratifying with loads of self work and rework. i am an absolutely different person than i was a couple years ago and i take pride in my growth. wont have it any other way.
However, i also realise that though we all have stories and struggles of our own, if we are taught to believe in ourselves, have faith in the larger design and yet steer our destiny, love ourselves as easily as we seek love from the other, trust ourselves and develop inner strength, become self empowered and reliant; our response ability will become so much more powerful.
Its like building your physical immunity so that body is more prepared to fight the illnesses etc. its like building an earthquake resistant building, its like preparing for a test, its being prepared so that the ground zero is one level up !
Evolve and Grow. Cause there is no limit to that. Thankfully!
Gift yourself the gift of your highest potential. Batti jali?
#lifecoach #relationshipcoach

Monday, February 5, 2018

the New Me

i am so happy with myself that i could finally forgive the one i thought i will never be able to my entire life. while sitting and thinking back to the year gone by, i was thinking of all that i am grateful for in 2017 and i am most grateful for my growth. And i was also so grateful that my family and friends have accepted the transformed me and are putting in their faith and working with me as their catalyst for their growth. 
and while i allowed all of that to sink in, i realised that i was soo tough on someone who is trying to change from what was and that i was holding on to the old persona and not forgiving the earlier trespasses.
this was a true batti jalli moment for me. i realised i should be seeing the person as she is now and not as she was. that was an aha moment for me that washed me over with the attitude of letting it all go.
i accept the evolution in you as much as i cherish the same in me. one of the quotes that i read comes to mind; if you are, what you were 5 years ago, you havent grown.
Today i choose to celebrate the new you and the new me !