Sunday, March 4, 2018

Every Day Hero

Having seen some bit of the world in my 44 years of existence, I do believe that there is a hero within all of us. We just don’t give it much recognition. We only think that heroes have a consistent heroic life and are out to save the world. We have grown up fed on the stories of superman, he-man and more recently shakitmaan. Those are amazing I don’t mean to take their brand of heroism away. And look around or better still look to yourself, there have been so many times when you have faced your fears, leapt with faith, taken over the unknown, jumped into a challenge and risen above the banal.

Today, i want to share a story that for me is a huge story of extraordinary heroism, something that has always tugged at my heart strings and sometimes warmed me and sometimes melted me. This is the story that is an ode to my mother in laws courage.

In December of 1998, we as a family went through the darkest time of our lives, we lost my best friend, my baby bro-in-law Sumi to an unfortunate accident in Pune. He was the darling of the family, absolutely pampered, most loved and cherished, and since he was the youngest; he was indulged in for every whim. And trust me he had multiple whims J and loved to live life fully.

The night of 3rd dec, my husband was travelling and at 3 am our door bell rang incessantly. Not realizing the foreboding of that bell, I opened the door and in walked Sumi’s roomies parents. A couple of minutes into the conversation, when they told us about the accident, they broke the news that shattered the world around us. We were in a state of shock and disbelief.
I can only now imagine the pain a mother would have gone through losing her young one at the age of 22. I can only now fathom how life must have moved on for her. In a daze we did all that was to be done.
And as luck would have it, a couple days down, end of December a wedding in the family of a dear cousin had already been scheduled. They were willing to postpone it and spoke at length with my mother in law. However, mummy said the wedding must be solemnized and finally the aunt relented saying it will happen only if she would attend it too.
I as a young girl all of 24 myself, was shattered and did not know how to process my feelings. Mum paved the way and all credit to her she went on to attend all the functions, I just the wedding.
For me, it was a huge step that a mother took. Today I look back and think of all the courage it would have taken her. For me this act was heroic. For me she is the hero in this story. For me she rose above herself. It also taught me that no matter what, the show must go on!!

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

3 Ways to Remain Connected to YourSelf

We as a generation seem to be plagued by the busyness syndrome. Isn’t it paradoxical that while we are “doing” so many things, we keep losing focus, are not really able to concentrate well and get distracted at the rate of a mobile notification sound.
One day while walking on a busy road I was so immersed in staring and reading into the phone that I simple lost track of where I was walking and who I was walking into. And in that sudden moment when a car whizzed close by, I came to the realization that I was so not connected with either myself or my physical environment. It really is very easy to get distracted and get lost either in the external chaos around us or the internal chatter.

Here are three very simple yet amazing practices that will ground you and connect you to your body and up level your awareness quotient. These exercises are very effective for everybody from a busy professional to a student, and the best part it is that it is all free.
Yes the good old focus on breath and a couple of deep breathings will bring you back to your bodily awareness. Take a deep breath with the intention of breathing in love and joy and with the exhalation release all that is stagnant and not serving you. A couple of deep breathings with this intention before an important meeting, an interview or an exam will center you and connect you to the moment. I call it my personal quick fix.
I AM Aware:
An exercise that I find very effective is saying this to myself while doing any task. For example when I am writing and tend to get lost in my thoughts, I bring back my focus and concentration by simply saying “I am aware I am writing.” This can be extended to any activity that you are doing or not doing. I am aware I am sipping my tea. I am aware I am walking in my lawn, I am aware I am lazying and sinking into my couch. Anything and everything, this really simple yet very effective exercise will allow you to live and enjoy your day with enhanced mindfulness.
Thought Less:
We are all inhabiting our bodies yet mostly living in our thoughts. Notice and be aware of how you go about the day and you will quickly recognize this. Infact, energy healers say that because of this we tend to fall sick and get unwell. If only we start living more in our body than in our mind we will heal better, live better and feel better. As soon as you start to get lost in the mental narratives and stories, bring yourself to an awareness of your five senses. What are you seeing? Hearing? Touching? Feeling? And tasting? Yes just the aliveness of this will bring your awareness to your body and raise your vibe, conscious and consciousness. This is a most effective manner that allows you to fully feel into your emotions and expose the feeling into awareness. For example if you are feeling angry and you expose your anger to yourself by feeling from where it is arising in your body and how it is rising and enveloping your energy field, how it is showing up for you, how are you looking, what are you hearing or saying; you will loosen its grip on you and will be able to unhook yourself. I do it all the time, feel my emotion, its origin, its trajectory and then allow it to gently let go.

While there are various ways to connect to yourself, these are some of the simple ones that you can do at any time of the day and for anything that is showing up for you. If you start developing this muscle of mindfulness through practice you will soon become a pro.

One level Up

wake up before the wake up call !
sometimes life throws a googly and depending on our ability to respond we respond to it. my wake up call came early in life when i lost my brother in law- my best friend and at the same time my husband went through challenging professional times. Personally and Professionally we started from ground zero and built up whatever we have today. we are ofcourse very grateful for all the support we got at that time. however our issues were our own to deal with. even in that our coping styles were very different.
over times i went in and out of phases of self empowerment then self doubts, depression and then more facing of fears, struggles winning some and losing some.
this year has been very gratifying with loads of self work and rework. i am an absolutely different person than i was a couple years ago and i take pride in my growth. wont have it any other way.
However, i also realise that though we all have stories and struggles of our own, if we are taught to believe in ourselves, have faith in the larger design and yet steer our destiny, love ourselves as easily as we seek love from the other, trust ourselves and develop inner strength, become self empowered and reliant; our response ability will become so much more powerful.
Its like building your physical immunity so that body is more prepared to fight the illnesses etc. its like building an earthquake resistant building, its like preparing for a test, its being prepared so that the ground zero is one level up !
Evolve and Grow. Cause there is no limit to that. Thankfully!
Gift yourself the gift of your highest potential. Batti jali?
#lifecoach #relationshipcoach

Monday, February 5, 2018

the New Me

i am so happy with myself that i could finally forgive the one i thought i will never be able to my entire life. while sitting and thinking back to the year gone by, i was thinking of all that i am grateful for in 2017 and i am most grateful for my growth. And i was also so grateful that my family and friends have accepted the transformed me and are putting in their faith and working with me as their catalyst for their growth. 
and while i allowed all of that to sink in, i realised that i was soo tough on someone who is trying to change from what was and that i was holding on to the old persona and not forgiving the earlier trespasses.
this was a true batti jalli moment for me. i realised i should be seeing the person as she is now and not as she was. that was an aha moment for me that washed me over with the attitude of letting it all go.
i accept the evolution in you as much as i cherish the same in me. one of the quotes that i read comes to mind; if you are, what you were 5 years ago, you havent grown.
Today i choose to celebrate the new you and the new me !

State of Calm

Its such fun that wonderful learnings and batti jali moments emerge while in a coaching session. Not just for the client for me too. Really this path of self discovery and evolving is magic. 
So in the session, my client said i do get v uncomfortable when i am stressed and i asked how about when you are calm and he said whats to think about that. And it was as if this remark opened up so much about how we live each day, unmindful of peace taking it for granted cause actually that is our innate centeredness and when we are off center we feed that state by throwing tantrums, shouting and allow it to become an energy vampire. 
How wonderful would it be if we fed our state of calmness and carry it with us mindfully and being fully aware. 💕

art of giving and karma connection

My mum always told me whenever i complained about how i have done so much for this one and that and blah blah and its so thankless. She always said That if you have done something for others and they are not reciprocating maybe you had to give last janams karz etc and if not and you are doing and they are taking the karz. And this used to always give me lots of courage to move on and keep doing what i thought was the right action to do. 
Today while in similar discussion talking of blessings and gratitude with her, my little batti came on alive. That if we have done cause of our past karmas so be it. And if it is from my side i drop it. Dont want to get enmeshed in further cycles. And thats when i understood why they say नेकी कर कुए में ड़ाल ( this saying in hindi means that if you have done a good deed forget about it and expect no returns on the same. I mean free the receiver from any debts so the giver is free too 💕). What came to my mind was also this incident my papa used to narrate: once a soldier did not salute the general so the general punished him saying now salute me a 100 times and the soldier did. And with each salute as the courtesy demands the general had to salute back !
Yes thats what it means. In my gita devdutt patnaik talks of a point of return(rebirths) and point of no return(no more rebirths).

Open Letter to the Students from a Parent

Dear students 
I know how tough it can get just before the exams. We have gone through it too. The problem is that sometimes we parents forget that. We project our unlived dreams on to you and you have to bear the cross of our unfulfilled ambitions. I am sorry as a parent i feel like calling out our bluff. It is actually about us not about you.
You are definitely loved and cherished. It is mostly about our fears and not your career/college blah blah. We want the best for you but forget that, giving you pressure or stress is not giving out best to you.
Standing where i am i can see it more clearly. As a parent to a class xth student all i want to say is this:
I love you and that this love of mine does not depend on your marks.
All will be well. You will be fine trust me i know
I used to flunk math sometimes psst most times and look at me i am fine and doing well too.
Kids in my class i used to think were buddhu are all doing very well in their careers.
Not getting a college of my choice is just that. It does not mean that my life is over.
Comparison with another is a recipe for disaster and depression. Hope you dont want to brew that in your life.
There are only x amount of factors that you have control over. Seek to inflence that "only". Like you can choose how to prepare but you cant choose the exam paper or the marks your examiner gives. So best do what you can and leave the rest to the higher force. Trust yourself.
Make doable meausrable goals for everyday
Raise your own bar. Like you do in gym: a little first then some more and then some even more. Stretch your capacity. "Your" capacity. Thats the key.
A result is just a feedback to, what is it that you can do more of, less of, start or stop. Its not a decree on who you are.
Do not let peoples opinion of you matter to you. You are amazing. Treat yourself as that.
God bless you