Monday, November 7, 2016

Birthday Musings

43 learnings that took me 43 years and hope to live them the rest of my earth time.
1. This too shall pass - good or bad
2. There is no age for learning. Want it, Go for it.
3. The tree with the heaviest fruit lies the lowest. Humility is a good way to lead a lifetime.
4. Never forget ur roots. Soar high remain grounded.
5. You are not your label. Someones daughter, someones wife or mother or sister. YOU are all this and more. Pause and think about the more ever so often
6. Loving yourself means accepting yourself zits and all. It does not mean that you are selfish.
7. Go out and have some casual friendships, it means people you can laugh with, people who do not know your baggage and dont care to.
8. Reinvention is the name of the game. Dont say but idk how these kids do it. If you want to, pls figure it out. Keep up with the generation.
9. Humara zamana is the most bs thing i have heard. Till the time you are breathing it is your "zamana". Dont let anyone make u feel otherwise.
10. Girlfriends who make you laugh is the best therapy. Get some.
11. Everything is a tool. How you use it makes it good or bad. That includes ur notions of money, love,sex, knowledge, fire, spirituality, religiosity everything
12. We dont have to tolerate others' views on religion, we just simply need to let us and them "Be", respect it. Tolerate seems to carry negative connotations and an unease about it.
13. Dont shy away from owning up if you have messed up. I don't whether prof or personal.
14. There is no age to start volunteering for social work. Dont wait till you retire.
15. Travelling teaches you more than text books.
16. Travelling solo is empowering as is watching a movie alone.
17. If you dont own up your responsibility towards you being happy who will?
18. Doing your own work whether it is making ur bed or changing a tube or even clearing a blocked pipe is not lowly, it is a sense of ownership
19. People try to box you, it is upto you to live in your essence. I am not a CEO's wife so i dont need to behave or dress as per that i never was a chief enggineers daughter and so behave with certain airs. I was born to my papa and i married my best friend. When their labels shed i am.still ME and they are them. Most beautiful souls radiating their inherent goodness.
20. Each of my scars tell my story. I want to age gracefully though i still may hate puffy eye bags.
21. Physical challenge is just that, a challenge we the society make it a disability for those afflicted with it. Make wheelchair ramps, provide safe access and braille instructions and see them empowered just like u and i
22. If you can be a candle to someone be. I used to feel bad when people use to call me "only" to ask for help. I soon realised that maybe i am blessed that they think of me as their candle when the wind is blowing strong for them.
23. If you can help someone without troubling yourself or compromising with your principles, do it.
24. Goodness always comes back sometimes in forms we dont understand.
25. Saying No or claiming your boundaries is empowering. Try it. Anyways no point.doing stuff against your grain.
26. Credit shd def be given where due. As a creative person it feels heartbreaking if someones thunder is stolen.
27. Nothing lasts forever not diamonds, not situations, not relationships
28. It is easier to make bahanas than showing up. Note to self: make less bahanas
29. Art of receiving is tougher than art of giving. I had a major block in receiving i felt burdened and one day i just realised that what what when I give and ppl receive it reluctantly? the joy for both go. I am becoming more gracious in receiving now, it means i am lovingly accepting compliments, help, blessings and even gifts.
30. Art of giving is art too. Having volunteered with NGOs i have seen people give stuff what they dont even need anymore as charity with an attitude. They think they are doing the world a big favour. Giving as well as receiving both require humility. Put a blessing out there while doing each.
31. The amount of satisfaction i get from recording for the blind no high paying job can come close to it. Its a deep penetrating sense of calm
32. Nothing is free and it should not even be. If you buy you value more.
33. Thats why i dont like to gift my pottery pieces. Cause if i do, you will think its free for me, no it is built with my sweat, blood and love. If you buy, you will get heartbroken if it breaks and savour it longer.
34. If you want to compliment go ahead, but unless u are my mother dont ask me why i have lost or gained weight. Why i look a certain way or anyone looks a certain way that they do. Its uncouth in my dictionary to make fun of physical appearances. You dont know the struggles of that person, keep it at that.
35. Judging is not a bad habit. Its a tool, how you use it makes it good or bad. You cant even cross a road without judging the manner in which to cross it. Its a natural human instinct.
36. Rituals unless they leave you glowing with positivity are just over burdening. I love the smell and community family feeling of doing havan in the house. And i hate to feed over fed pot bellied pandits with more food or dakshina to appease my stars.
37. Karma is not a bitch. Its a word that denotes action, you can always transform your karmas to suit yourself. It is not static though whats done cannot be undone, you can steer future actions.
38. Love is overrated. "Connection" is underrated.
39. No one "likes" to live or die painfully. Please dont say in front of the family of someone who is suffering, that i want to die in my sleep blah blah. They would too if they had a choice.
40. Which brings me to i dont want to die strapped to pipes in a hospital. I dont want futile treatments, teary eyes and broken hearts around me.
41. My prayer ceremony shd have beer and srk movie. Who wants to sit and listen to crap. Not my soul.
42. Each time u think of me think with a beaming smile.celebrate me , like a i try to celebrate my Sumi
43. Picture abhi baki hai mere dost. Life abhi chalu hai. 

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Just BE

Sometimes a stranger teaches you a lesson that even tomes of gyan cannot. At the pottery classes we had a senior lady who joined pottery but was mostly not able to work on the wheel. A dignified quiet lady, with unsaid sadness in her eyes always wearing a saree and politely conversing with the teachers. On the other hand, it was the rambunctious us always chatting and me in the typical loud Punju voice. She used to sit quietly on the wheel and try to center a lump of clay, mostly unsuccessfully, but her dedication was exemplary. We knew she was doing pottery to keep busy and get over some recent grief, but beyond that we knew nothing of her story. Soon she discovered that she can hand build with clay rather well. She has the patience of a monk, and her pieces- small statues of Krishna with a cow or the gopis were amazingly detailed, intricately carved and life like. Many times seeing her carvings I did my oohs and aahs in chirpy encouraging sort of way.

I left the studio when my tenure ended and life continued, till one day I was at the colony fair and someone announced that “do not miss the ceramic stall”. Being a potter I naturally gravitated towards the stall and instantly recognized her work. At that time she was away from the stall but spotting me rushed towards it and shyly hugged me. I was happy to see her and as usual my bubbly self. At the time of saying my byes to her she hugged me once more and said “do keep in touch”. She had tears in her eyes and I was a bit surprised, she sensed my confusion and said, “you know what I had a daughter named Anubha I lost her”. I was shocked to say the least. It hit me that though my story is playing out in a completely different set up, she probably was always trying to catch a glimpse of her daughter in me. I cant explain how I felt but realized that for her it was enough that I am Me. My Just Being. Simply Existing. That’s it. Isnt that beautiful? We spend our whole life being this and being that, playing several roles, juggling various tasks whereas, all we need to do is just Be.